lesbiangiratina:

Youre always so kind and gentle with me olive garden

wolfsplosion:

one time when I was a kid my parents were arguing while we were driving somewhere and I was in the backseat so I wrote “are you going to get a divorce” on my foot and slowly extended my leg betwixt the seats

psychologicalwarclaire:

mrvelocipede:

lunetta-suzie-jewel:

paulgadzikowski:

fremedon:

rat-girl-big-tits:

ruckuscauser:

shredsandpatches:

genteelblackhole42:

finally-figured-it-out:

finally-figured-it-out:

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

There once was a man from Verdun

There once was a man from the sticks
Whose limericks stopped at line six.
They were fine till line five
Then they took quite a dive —
But the problem is easy to fix
If you just ignore the last line, it doesn’t even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I’ve really lost control of this thing I’m so sorry…

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

@limerickshere

There once was a fellow named Dan,
Whose poetry never would scan.
When told this was so,
He replied, “Yes, I know–
It’s because I try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”

On Tumblr did lasses and lads
Their way with fail poetry had.
You’re having your fun
But you’re fooling no one -
It takes skill to do something this bad.

my name is cow

and when i see

this tumblr post

it gives me glee

i think real hard

for words to pick

so i can fail

at limerick

There once was a [person] from [place],

Whose [body part] was [special case].

When [event] would occur,

It would cause [him or her]

To violate [law of time/space].

@apoeticwasteoofspace @sethsquatch44 you guys like poetry, come here :)

beardedmrbean:

cannibalchicken:

spiralfucker:

They found the last golden ticket . So that’s just it then . Fuck my stupid horrible pathetic life. Cabbage soup for dinner again , my stupid mothtsr. Grandpa Joe said he’s sorry but I know he doesn’t really give a fuck . And who gives a fuck about the other three old people in my house . Whatever their names is. Fuck fuck fuck it’s all worthless . They even made fun of me at school for only buying like 3 wonka bars. Nepo pricks . Fuck my stupid life it’s all fucked it’s all fucked . And my last name is bucket

(via doritofalls)

roaldamundsen:

devildaddys-world-deactivated20:

Slow sex, dark room, soft music and eye contact 🔥

(via patrik-star)

lukeskywalkerscoachbag:

I hate r*hanna because one time my mom took me to the petting zoo and this big ass goat bit my hand and chased me around the farm and I know in my heart that it was her doing

(via patrik-star)

tatzelwurming:

i think people w acid reflux should be able to store it up so they can unleash it all at once in a devastating corrosive spit attack

(via eyesweating)

adonischildsupportcase: